{"id":26343,"date":"2019-11-27T09:00:56","date_gmt":"2019-11-27T09:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/livstudent.crtr.dev\/?p=26343"},"modified":"2022-10-10T21:52:22","modified_gmt":"2022-10-10T21:52:22","slug":"how-to-deal-with-difficult-flatmates","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stafferton.dev\/livstudent\/how-to-deal-with-difficult-flatmates\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Deal with Difficult Flatmates"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So you arrived at uni, moved into your new accommodation, and are ready to start your new adventure. Whether you\u2019re living with friends or strangers, you\u2019re excited about this new experience! The first week in the new flat is fine, a few dishes left out here and there, and your flatmate locked you out, but hey, things happen right?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Fast forward a few weeks, and you\u2019re living in a dirty-dish covered, weird-smelling, music-played-round-the-clock hovel. You\u2019re Googling ways to make extra money to afford your own flat, and also considering making the hour-long commute from your parent\u2019s while your flatmate plays the same Taylor Swift song ten.times.in.a.row. What can you do? How can you get things back on track?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you need to know how to deal with difficult flatmates\u2014like yesterday\u2014try these simple steps.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Set Rules from the Beginning<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When it comes to living with someone new, the best thing to do is set ground rules from the beginning. Think about how you want to use the space. If you share a room, then do you want to share the entire space, or split it down the middle? Alternatively, if you share a flat, what rules do you want to set out for the common areas? Some other points to consider include:&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What about guests?&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How quickly do you want dishes washed up?&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Will you clean weekly?&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Who is in charge of what tasks?&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Should you set quiet or study hours?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s a terribly boring (and potentially awkward) conversation to have, but it will help you avoid a lot of future strife. You might even consider jotting down notes in a shared document.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Approach Issues Quickly and Directly<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your flatmate is doing something that irritates you, address it IMMEDIATELY. Admittedly, we Brits aren\u2019t the best at conflict, and it\u2019s often easier to let things build up than address them. However, addressing something at the moment (or just after) makes it less of an issue once it\u2019s actually brought up.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The secret to this conversation is being polite but firm. Explain the exact behaviour that you don\u2019t like, why the behaviour is bothering you, and suggest an alternative solution. For example, say your roommate keeps having friends round for pre-drinks on the night before you\u2019ve got an exam. Calmly explain to your flatmate why this is inconvenient. Ask them to let you know when they\u2019re hosting at yours a few days in advance, so you can make sure it suits everyone\u2019s schedule.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Taking the time to reconnect and calling your flatmate up on their actions may be the only step you need. Some people, especially when they\u2019ve never lived away from home, can be clueless about how their behaviour affects others. However, if you\u2019ve spoken to your flatmate and things haven\u2019t changed, you might have a different situation on your hands.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have a Conversation<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As you\u2019re Googling \u2018<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">how to deal with difficult flatmates<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">,\u2019 you might be past the \u2018ground rules\u2019 stage. If you face continued issues and tried to address it with no amends, ask to have a chat regarding the experience as a whole. Think of this as a meeting where you can talk openly and freely.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The key here is tact. Approach your flatmate gently, and make sure not to accuse. \u2018I\u2019 statements are very effective here. Explain how everything makes you feel, and what you\u2019d like to change, instead of blaming the mess (or the issues) on someone else. Be sure to give your flatmate a platform to voice their concers, as well. Then, together, come up with mutual solutions that will make your living situation a happier one.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t Retaliate<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After two conversations with your flatmate and no improvement, you might be at the end of your rope. It can be really tempting to handle these issues by being passive-aggressive (see: piling dirty dishes outside their door, hiding speakers so they can\u2019t play their terrible music, or stealing clothes from their closet because they borrow yours without permission). But this kind of behaviour will only escalate the situation.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the same vein, don\u2019t play the martyr and do the things that you wish they\u2019d do themselves. This will only lead to you quietly seething about them not caring enough, which is not a headspace that you want to enter\u2014you\u2019ve got to live with this person!<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Talk to the Uni or Your Accommodation&nbsp;<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re living in uni accommodation and things aren\u2019t getting better with your flatmate, talk to the university and see if you can move rooms. Similarly, many private accommodations will allow you to change flats if the environment becomes truly hostile. Before talking to someone about making moves, though, make sure that you\u2019ve done everything you can to resolve the issue by communicating with your flatmate.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You CAN Live with a Difficult Flatmate!&nbsp;<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Though some flatmates can be tricky, don\u2019t be discouraged\u2014truly bad ones are few and far between! Just remember to positively approach the situations, and always talk openly and freely about your feelings and expectations. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So you arrived at uni, moved into your new accommodation, and are ready to start your new adventure. Whether you\u2019re living with friends or strangers,&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":44374,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-26343","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stafferton.dev\/livstudent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26343","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stafferton.dev\/livstudent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stafferton.dev\/livstudent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stafferton.dev\/livstudent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stafferton.dev\/livstudent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26343"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/stafferton.dev\/livstudent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26343\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":44375,"href":"https:\/\/stafferton.dev\/livstudent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26343\/revisions\/44375"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stafferton.dev\/livstudent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/44374"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stafferton.dev\/livstudent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26343"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stafferton.dev\/livstudent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26343"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stafferton.dev\/livstudent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26343"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}